Most people make sure their kids know ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, but the extensive system of etiquette can be of tremendous value to kids, especially those with particular difficulties in social situations. It’s not just about table manners!
Formal etiquette (i.e. wedding or funeral procedure) is useful every once in a great while, but the best part of these ‘rules of respect’ can be a terrific addition to a behavioral program for Asperger’s Syndrome kids and others on the autism spectrum. Since social cues do not obviate themselves to these kids (and adults), classic manners can give them something to fall back on that is concrete and recognizable to others, thereby easing their way into society in a healthy way.
For instance, explaining the concept of ‘personal space’ and privacy, including how it relates to such behavior as staring (at girls, ahem) to an AS child is presenting an abstraction that can increase their frustration and confusion in social situations. However, if it is presented in a classroom as a code of behavior to make contact simpler it is much more readily accepted. This is especially effective if the parents are involved, of course.
Below are some important topics to cover in teaching manners and etiquette. With autism spectrum children, take each topic on one at a time and give several weeks of constant repetition before moving on, remembering to continue enforcing the behavior with positive feedback and constructive, well-meant criticism.
- Holding silverware correctly and not eating with the hands when appropriate
- Washing hands before eating and after using the bathroom, with soap (for health reasons too!)
- Chewing with the mouth closed
- Respecting personal space and private time
- Speaking with appropriate volume and intensity
- Remembering where the hands are, and what they are doing
- How to treat the opposite sex
- Setting an example for smaller children
- Not correcting adults and waiting for permission to speak
- Eating and drinking quietly, so that the person next to you would have to really try to hear
- PHONE MANNERS
There are many more, of course. It can take children without learning disabilities a long time to learn these behaviors, so allow your AS kid extra time to learn and exercise additional patience. For kids who have a tendency to have a meltdown when presented with ‘negative’ feedback, try playing it up with a positive tone of voice, and prefacing and ending the statement with positive feedback.
Here are some terrific resources to try out. Check your local library too!
Kids and parents’ section of The Emily Post Institute
Cellphone etiquette article
RudeBusters.com
Mannerisms- the game
Resource article on TeacherPlanet.com
Family Education resources
Comment with any additional tips and resources you might have!
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Can etiquette help our Asperger’s Syndrome kids?
Most people make sure their kids know ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, but the extensive system of etiquette can be of tremendous value to kids, especially those with particular difficulties in social situations. It’s not just about table manners!
Formal etiquette (i.e. wedding or funeral procedure) is useful every once in a great while, but the best part of these ‘rules of respect’ can be a terrific addition to a behavioral program for Asperger’s Syndrome kids and others on the autism spectrum. Since social cues do not obviate themselves to these kids (and adults), classic manners can give them something to fall back on that is concrete and recognizable to others, thereby easing their way into society in a healthy way.
For instance, explaining the concept of ‘personal space’ and privacy, including how it relates to such behavior as staring (at girls, ahem) to an AS child is presenting an abstraction that can increase their frustration and confusion in social situations. However, if it is presented in a classroom as a code of behavior to make contact simpler it is much more readily accepted. This is especially effective if the parents are involved, of course.
Below are some important topics to cover in teaching manners and etiquette. With autism spectrum children, take each topic on one at a time and give several weeks of constant repetition before moving on, remembering to continue enforcing the behavior with positive feedback and constructive, well-meant criticism.
There are many more, of course. It can take children without learning disabilities a long time to learn these behaviors, so allow your AS kid extra time to learn and exercise additional patience. For kids who have a tendency to have a meltdown when presented with ‘negative’ feedback, try playing it up with a positive tone of voice, and prefacing and ending the statement with positive feedback.
Here are some terrific resources to try out. Check your local library too!
Kids and parents’ section of The Emily Post Institute
Cellphone etiquette article
RudeBusters.com
Mannerisms- the game
Resource article on TeacherPlanet.com
Family Education resources
Comment with any additional tips and resources you might have!
Like this: