The only choice you’ll ever make
I caught my daughter in bed with her Nintendo DS. She was not allowed to have it. She immediately apologized when she saw me and said, “I couldn’t help it.”
I said, “You can help it. All you have to do is make the choice you know is right and follow through.”
Make the choice, then follow through. That’s all there is to being mature, to being a grownup. I know she’ll figure it out eventually. But there are lots of adults out there that don’t ever figure this out. It’s understandable why this happens.
People get stuck. They doubt themselves. They see people they look up to declining in age and circumstances and get afraid. They make choices they regret, mistakes they can’t rescind. They make the people they love suffer, then compound their own suffering by not allowing themselves to enjoy the good things that never completely go away: the people that stay close and faithful, the happiness that is always available.
Fear and doubt are like a virus that eat away at your inner strength.
(Note: There are healthy kinds of fear and doubt, but knowing the difference comes with observation and maturity.)
What does it take to release yourself from suffering? To embrace the happiness that’s always there?
Make the choice to do what’s right. Then follow through. Act on it.
At first, you make the choice every second. Then, over time, every minute. Then every hour, then every day. Until it becomes effortless. Lots of people miss this point. But it’s important.
The choice is why we need habit and ritual to ingrain the choice into our lives and our consciousness. Until the choice is even in our dreams.
What is the choice?
Any choice you need to make. No matter how large or small. But the most important one is to move toward and create a positive, compassionate life, and to support that in others.
It really is that simple.
One more thing: There are no shades of grey with choices. The choice itself may be messy and complicated, have far-reaching consequences. But the choice is very simple. Yes or No. And the action? The time is right now. Not tomorrow. Because this moment is all there is.
Oh, you make it sound so easy! What to do when both choices appear equally wrong? What to do when you are blind to the alternatives? I still wonder at this sometimes, and at the wisdom of maturity. Doesn’t a child do what they feel is right without thinking? What makes right in the first place?
I’m sorry…your words are true, they most certainly are. It’s a standard I try to live to each day, though mostly I don’t quite make it.
Thank you!
My reply got too long, so I turned it into a post:
http://peacegroundzero.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/for-sati-parenthood-and-the-wisdom-of-maturity-when-making-a-choice/
By the way, I can’t wait until my son realizes he can do things after lights-out. Urgh.
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